“The Enumerator”
KNOW YOUR ENEMY
by Willy the
Weasel
If you want to defeat an enemy, you have to know who he is and what he wants. With that in mind, friends, I have prepared the following piece for your edification and enlightenment.
Being “white” and being “male” are definitely out. Being both is extremely out. Being “gay” is in. Being lesbian is even better. The Western World is going to hell in a hand basket, powered by guilt and misplaced idealism. The rest of the world is already there, lined up for the return trip upon our arrival. To be white, male and conservative is not only “out”, it’s considered border line criminal by anyone who is not white, male and conservative and many who are (but not conservative). White male conservatives are also known as “they” – as in “If they can build…” or “Why don’t they…” etc. Indeed, there are some people – not conservative people, (and generally not male) – who believe “they” spent their waking hours devising devious plans to prevent them from leading a prosperous life.
In such a weak willed state, we are ripe for the picking. Probably the reason for all kinds of terrorism on the rise. When one is against himself – is seen through his own eyes as the “baddie” – it’s hard to take a convincing line against the nasties whose public pronunciation is that you are the Great Satan! Minorities of all stripes, both racially and geographically, are condemning the Great Satan while proclaiming the greatness and superior wisdom of their own particular way of seeing (and doing) things. They have recognized that unless they distance themselves from the Great Satan and identify with – or hell, for that matter, become oppressed victims, they are liable to be mistaken for the Great Satan, too!
Or to be at least in league with him!
We used to see Satan as being Red. He was “Them”! He ruled over the Evil Empire of the East and in any other land which was not protected by the symbol of the Golden Arch. Now, thanks to our educators and our media, we know better. Now we know Satan is white. Male. Conservative. US – with periods in between.
In the bid to rid themselves of the oppressive yoke of Satan’s henchmen – or directly from Satan, himself, many liberationist-minded movements have resorted to violence to demonstrate their dislike of the domination of their culture, rights, religion, sex, etc. In their noble efforts to attract the attention of allies – usually guilt ridden liberals or dogma driven socialists, they perpetrate acts of violence against all representatives and embodiments of the Great Satan, followed by their demands. These demands, if met, will presumably allow us to live in peaceful coexistence – Great Satan clones or not. These ultimatums usually take the form of demands that Satan should go to the back of the line and let someone else have the role for a change; concede influence or territories; intercede or not intercede in some internal matter in some socialist paradise; include the “liberationists” in the power sharing structure (although ultimately, sharing power is the furthest from their minds); pay large amounts of money and utter useless apologies to some group so that they can live like Satan, too or look after their every responsibility, whim and desire.
Now comes a new messenger – one that performs dastardly deeds without demands. One that claims that their sole motivation is “soul”. One that claims that Allah – God, Goodness and Righteousness through Islam – is directing this, the final battle against the Great Satan. This is it. This is the beginning of the famous road to Armageddon.
But what is their aim? What are their demands? There ARE none! And there are no terms of surrender, either. The motive is the eradication of the evil Great Satan and the symbols of his sickness – Golden Arches, Golden Crosses, Golden Promises and Golden Opportunity – to be replaced by a new world order. One entirely different from our vision. One of “power to the people” Only some of the people intend to have more power than others. The Great Satan will be defeated and be replaced by…the new, IMPROVED GREAT SATAN!
Satan? God? One may be dead, the other demented. But make no mistake, the battle has been joined. We always knew it would be. And hadn’t it been said by “kooks” and Crusaders that the final days were nigh? Only we always thought we’d recognize the start. We thought the lines would be clearly drawn. A more definitive “US” and “THEM”. A certain formality. And even though we knew it was inevitable, very few of us ever imagined inevitable as “now”. In our lifetime!
Friends, unless we join this battle with values and conviction, you won’t like the outcome. It may seem like a nuisance to some, but unless it’s dealt with definitively it could become a nuisance of hellish proportions.
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
by Willy the Weasel
Now I’ve been asked many times now about my religious beliefs. Even though the system is supposed to be secular, it isn’t really, and so belief in God becomes very important. More important is how much you believe in God. And so, friends, it is with this in mind that I now declare my positions on this matter of vital importance to the voting public.
Let it be understood that God is
good. God is love. God is forgiveness. God is dog spelled backwards, and being a
weasel, I’m not sure how I feel about this particular point. After all, “weasel” spelled backwards is
“lesaew” – probably some foreign word meaning natural born leader of great
intelligence. But I digress. Yes, God is all the above and the Devil –
well, he’s just EVIL!
Here’s how it works. If you are a good person – a really good person, you get to go to heaven straight away. No questions asked! If there are a few flaws there in your personality, you may have to wait around, do some sort of penance before you are admitted. But if you are a bad person, you go straight to HELL – no questions asked!
All manner of horrible things happen to those in Hell. They burn in fire and brimstone for one, and their souls live for all eternity in torment beyond description. Darkness is theirs forever and ever, and then some!
Friends, does this make sense? I suppose to most of the world’s religions containing a concept of good and evil, justice and retribution and an afterlife based on performance in this life, it makes a whole lot of sense! It makes a good story and it keeps most people in line – but if you think about it, the theory is not well thought out.
Why in Hades would the Devil torture and torment someone who has spent their entire life being a baddie? Hell, surely Satan would see that as something to be admired. Indeed, REWARDED! Just as God rewards the good with peace and plenty in the great hereafter, wouldn’t the Overlord of the Underworld offer incentives rather than incendiaries? Which leads one to wonder who made up this stuff and why! Who is God and who is Satan?
In the beginning, people didn’t have a clue! No idea of where they came from, no idea of where they were going. No idea of what was happening while they were here. But they were observant! They could hear thunder, for instance. They couldn’t see it and they couldn’t feel it, but they did note its direction – it was “up there”! Given their own level of linguistic ability, sounds like that of thunder were bound to give rise to theological thoughts. It stands to reason that rumblings and grumblings mimicking there own – only much louder – could only mean that there were beings overhead. Superior beings! And, indeed, the concept allowed for the explanation of everything!
Thunder? The Gods are arguing. Thunder and lightening? It’s probably you that they’re arguing about. Thunder, lightening and FIRE? They’re really ticked off! No matter what, the Gods had a hand in it.
Now people may have been primitive, but that doesn’t mean they were stupid – at least, not all of them. Those that could create elaborate explanations soon found themselves in powerful positions. A person that could commune with unseen forces – know their ways and interpret their wishes – was an asset to any tribe. At first, these positions were the exclusive domain of women, being the part of the species that most resembled the good things bestowed by the Gods. While the men folk went off to scavenge or hunt or whatever, the women were back in the cave, nurturing, planting and growing – learning the secrets of the universe. However, as civilization plodded along and men no longer had to go out and kill something to eat, they noticed there was something missing in their lives. Kind of like today’s society when a husband is downsized . His role in life has been made redundant and while a woman’s work is never done. All that’s left for him is to sit around fiddling with the channel changer – bored out of his tree and feeling totally useless!
So it was that men decided to dialogue with deities. In the process, they made some amazing revelations – chief of which was that the Gods were MEN! And dealing with powerful men such as these was clearly a MAN’S job. Only men could speak “manno a manno” with the men upstairs. They found, too, that the Gods liked to help men who helped themselves. Armed to the teeth with that knowledge, amongst other things, they found holy purpose in their lives once more. They could go out and kill something again – with the blessings and, indeed, on the instructions of the Gods. And so it’s been, down through the millennia to the present day. Out of work and crave some power? Let it be known that you have and “in” with the higher-ups in heaven and your cravings will come to pass.
As to the question “Who is God and who is Satan?” the answer is simple if we dare to accept it: we are!
That does and doesn’t write off the scriptures of all kinds of religions. Take the Bible, for instance – or the Qur’an, for that matter. No doubt there’s a lot of thought provoking material in there. No doubt, some very wise people with a lot insight had some serious thought about the nature of things. And no doubt, like anyone else who has had a radical thought, their musings have been edited to serve the powers that be. That’s what we get to read, and God only knows how many times the original thought has been edited to serve those powers. The bottom line remains the same, though. “Man” has been inventing myths to explain the unexplainable since time immemorial, and since time immemorial, there have always been those who have seized those myths, shaping them into vehicles of their own veneration, or the vilification of others.
Questions. Always questions. If we are both God and Satan, then what’s up with all the
evidence that we’re not? What about the
“unexplained” – life, death, the supernatural?
Well for one, they’re all real, but for an in depth explanation, you
would have to return to the Stone Age for that! For my part, I thank God every time I cross the Inter State
safely!